What's in a Name?

I Pitta the Fool.

That which we call a JPEG by any other name would smell as sweet. Every year, thousands of fantasy football owners scramble to sound crafty and ingenious by naming their team something funny. There seems to be two main strategies in this endeavor--using an NFL player's name or just a funny phrase-turned-football--and I've got the keys to success for both this year.

No doubt you're still swooning over my amazing Photoshop skills. Yes, that's the seasonally-injured Dennis Pitta in gold chains, dawg! If you're not quite as cool or multi-talented as I, no worries...I've got you covered.

As I mentioned, most team names are either a play on someone's name or a football term. Some names are homophones and don't need any real tweaking at all, like Forte, Cassle, Breese, Kolb, or Ansah. Some names are based more on phonetic stretches of the imagination, like Dwayne Bowe (Rainbow), Schaub (Job), Boldin (Bold and). Hopefully, this is enough to get the ball rolling for you in the name category. If not, here's some more from The Bleacher Report.

Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe

Double Dwayne Bowe

Pimpin' Ain't Breesy

Forte Ounces to Freedom

My Fair Brady

Corn on the Kolb 

Yo Gabba Gabbert

Cassel Made of Sand

Whatcha Talkin' About Hillis?

Rowdy Roddy White

Jamaal Charles in Charge 

Medulla Amendola 

The Boldin The Beautiful

Orton Hears a Boo

My Bironas

DeMarco Polo. 

Is That Your Final Ansah?

Jersey Leshoure

Belichick Yourself Before You Rex Yourself

The Hurt Locker

Good Morning Viet-Nnamdi

Cromartie McFly

Hand Schaub

As far as football terms go, you want to aim for names that will demonstrate how bad you're going to beat the other teams, like "Multiple Scorgasms," "Victorious Secret," or "The Abusement Park." This lets your opposition know ahead of time that you have genitalia smaller than your ego.

For a complete list of the 101 "best" names, check out the Team Names web site. Seriously, though, don't be that sore loser bump on a log that doesn't name their team something. You will be shunned accordingly.

Football is Coming! Football is Coming!

Last night's Hall of Fame game officially kicked off the NFL preseason. And just in time. I was beginning to grow tired of having healthy hobbies and spending time with loved ones. The real season starts in exactly one month, when the defending champion Ravens visit the Broncos, and if you haven't joined a fantasy football league yet, you need to hurry!

I just joined a league that I will be covering throughout the season, offering match up analyses, draft and trade deadline coverage, as well as the latest news and updates from around the league.

This year, The Reality of Fantasy Sports will feature an ESPN fantasy league comprised of some gifted bloggers and die hard fantasy freaks! We're going to strive to give you some of the best and most honest points of view, from a multitude of perspectives. I'll be featuring guest blogs from the other players as well as weekly articles, chronicling the ups and downs of fake athleticism.

I got last place in this league last year, but this year's gonna be totally different.

Like, second to last...

And here's the best part. You could be in the league too!

Enter now for your chance to claim the last remaining spot in the Literally Literate writers league and compete against some of the best around! Think you're the best at fantasy...

Prove it.

A Life without Sports?

With the NBA and NHL seasons over with, it can be a struggle to get through a day without your normal sports fix. Sure, there's baseball and golf, but those are snoozefests. There's soccer too, but that's not a real sport (if I wanted to watch non-athletes prance around for an hour and a half, I'd attend a high school cross-country race), so what is a fantasy fanatic to do in the meantime? Here's a list:

Adios, San Antonio: Why the Spurs are Done For

I was rooting for the Spurs last night. I hate the Heat with all of my young, naive heart. Because deep in the recesses of my soul, I believe that good will always triumph over evil--that no matter what hardships are faced, no matter the slings and arrows of defeat--that in the end, the good guy will win.

Not anymore. 

Tebow to the Pats: Wicked Smawt?

Yesterday, word came that Tim Tebow signed with the Pats and will be suiting up for camp soon under the guidance of offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels, his former coach at the Denver Broncos. What exactly does this say about the Pats?

Heat or Hate: Perspectives on LeBron James

Maybe it was the Hummer in high school, bought with mysterious funds. Perhaps it was the back tat promising the world that he was the alleged reincarnation of the greatest athlete to ever put an orange thing in another orange thing. Or maybe it's just because I live in Oklahoma. But either way, LeBron James and his flop-happy, soap-worthy performances have drawn my mire and hopes for defeat.

Top Stories from the NFL's 2013 OTA's

Ahh, it's that time of the year again.

The 2013 NFL season is set to begin on Sept. 5, with the defending champion Ravens traveling to Mile High to take on Peyton Manning and the Broncos. Most teams have been conducting OTA's, or organized team activities, for about a month now, and big things have been happening...